We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
