you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
