i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
