i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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