dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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