You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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