You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
