And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
worst night to have a conscience
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
