you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
