Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do vagina's smell?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
