so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
