Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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