She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
