whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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