next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
