he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
