I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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