Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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