WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
