I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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