Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
