the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
