woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
