This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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