she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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