yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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