i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
