so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
