All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
