when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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