you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
