the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
