I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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