Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
