I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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