so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
