You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
