Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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