dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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