I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
