hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
