I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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