Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
