youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
