At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
