He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
