He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
