I think I am morally bankrupt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
