So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Randomize
