yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
His nipple licking is glorious
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